People die all the time. It's just that you're not around.
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.
I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.