The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Don't die until you're dead.
The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
Politically correct is the language of cowardice.