I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet. That's why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.

I don't like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.

I've always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That's why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.

Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.

I'm a baby. I sleep like a baby - I'm up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.

Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.