I don't like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.

I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.

Great news! Hosting Oscars counts five hours toward my community service!

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

This time I particularly loved because it came from a real experience with my grandchildren. Having them alone alone for the first time for six or seven days and going "Wow, this is exhausting," because when you're not around little ones for a long time, you forget about how much work that is. So I came in and started writing the story that became this movie ['PARENTAL GUIDANCE'].

You give up your dream, you give up.

From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.