I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.

I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet. That's why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great.

Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck's puff pastries.