A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard.

I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut.

We are on the track of something absolutely mediocre.

[about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.

Ah, Marilyn, Hollywood's Joan of Arc, our Ultimate Sacrificial Lamb. Well, let me tell you, she was mean, terribly mean. The meanest woman I have ever known in this town. I am appalled by this Marilyn Monroe cult. Perhaps it's getting to be an act of courage to say the truth about her. Well, let me be courageous. I have never met anyone as utterly mean as Marilyn Monroe. Nor as utterly fabulous on the screen, and that includes Garbo.

The forest of Compiegne. Look at it. Like a kind grandmother dozing in her rocking chair. Old trees practicing curtsies in the wind because they still think Louis XIV is king.

The ultimate trick is to convince, persuade. Every single person out there is an idiot, but collectively they're a genius.