An actor entering through the door, you've got nothing. But if he enters through the window, you've got a situation.

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that Hitler was a German and Beethoven an Austrian.

Hollywood didn't kill Marilyn Monroe, it's the Marilyn Monroes who are killing Hollywood.

God save me from myself.

The ultimate trick is to convince, persuade. Every single person out there is an idiot, but collectively they're a genius.

[about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.