Don't be too clever for an audience. Make it obvious. Make the subtleties obvious also.

When Chaplin found a voice to say what was on his mind, he was like a child of eight writing lyrics for Beethoven's Ninth.

The best director is the one you don't see.

The ultimate trick is to convince, persuade. Every single person out there is an idiot, but collectively they're a genius.

You know, that stuff about pink elephants, that's the bunk. It's little animals. Little tiny turkeys in straw hats. Midget monkeys coming through the keyholes.

Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man. Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.

I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut.