I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though youre poking fun at someone or something, theres still an affection for it.

Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is.

I don't have a show anymore. I don't have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.

Funny is funny is funny.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.