Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.
Bob NewhartI don't want to find the secret. I'm afraid all the joy will go out of it if I find the secret.
Bob NewhartI think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though youre poking fun at someone or something, theres still an affection for it.
Bob NewhartI don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.
Bob NewhartThere are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I'll cry.
Bob NewhartThe reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.
Bob NewhartYou never know when you'll come upon something and it's going to be fodder for new material.
Bob NewhartI gave up accounting. I went in for about six months writing ad copy. I was fired from that, and then another guy and I did a kind of poor man's Bob and Ray kind of syndicated radio show. Then I decided to stick it out and see what happened. I'd give it a year, a year became two years, and then two years became three years, and then along came the record album.
Bob NewhartLaughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
Bob NewhartI don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.
Bob NewhartI was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it.
Bob NewhartBut I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh
Bob NewhartI was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.
Bob NewhartThere's a lot of cynicism. Let's really enjoy Christmas, with all that's going on in the world.
Bob NewhartMore and more, as I get older, people come up to me and say, 'Thank you for all the laughter.' And my standard answer is, 'It was my pleasure.' But that's the truth.
Bob NewhartPeople with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.
Bob NewhartBecause of the spin-meisters and the focus groups and the way politics is run now. It's run by polls and focus groups. So it's even more true today, I think, than it was some 40 years ago.
Bob NewhartStammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers generally think of ourselves as very bright. My own private theory is that stammerers have so many ideas swirling around their brains at once that they can't get them all out, though I haven't found any scientific evidence to back that up.
Bob NewhartI worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.
Bob NewhartWell, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.
Bob NewhartTelevision series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.
Bob NewhartIn today's world, you would call my father mostly unaccessible. I'm not sure that isn't true of most fathers at that time. He went through the Depression. I don't know what that would have done to my psyche.
Bob NewhartI kind of do it in my head, then I'll try pieces of it on stage and if it looks promising, I'll put it together.
Bob NewhartDoormen are kind of invisible, people don't know their names. They just say, Thank you, or Good morning. I'd never thought about doormen before. They're a vanishing breed. More electronic doors are being introduced.
Bob NewhartJack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story.
Bob NewhartThe only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I'm not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors.
Bob NewhartComedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.
Bob NewhartThe giant superstars are people whose talent is so enormous that their death wish can't destroy it.
Bob NewhartIt was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it.
Bob Newhart