I don't have a show anymore. I don't have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.

All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.

Funny is funny is funny.

I can't remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie.

I couldn't play off people that I don't personally like.

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.