I don't have a show anymore. I don't have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.

Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?

I'm very open to the up-and-comers.

Don't be silly and don't waste your time.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I'll cry.