You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock.

All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.

I think everyone probably starts out sounding like someone else, but gradually you develop your own sound.

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

But I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh

Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic.

I don't have a show anymore. I don't have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.