This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

I wasn't much good. When I went into the line on a fake - I would holler 'I don't have it!'

I couldn't play off people that I don't personally like.

I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.

Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story.

I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.

One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you're the boss. It's your stage, and don't screw with me because I'll make you look bad, which I had to do, because you wind up with drunks and loud people.