Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame.
I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.