When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.
It's not that Good doesn't triumph over Evil, it's that the point spread is too small.
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
People used to live lives of quiet desperation - now they go on talk shows!
I like to get to work early. Before my brain knows what I'm up to.
I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it.