Live-tweeting your bikini wax is not vulnerability. Nor is posting a blow-by-blow of your divorce . That's an attempt to hot-wire connection. But you can't cheat real connection. It's built up slowly. It's about trust and time.

You cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame.

Maybe stories are just data with a soul.

Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy.

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

I now see how gifts like courage, compassion, and connection only work when they are exercised. Every day.

When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.