We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.

When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding.

We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.

Self-compassion is key because when we're able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we're more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy.

Effort + the courage to show up = enough.

Someone asked me very recently why I have 8 million views on TED - "your work resonates, what are you doing?" What I think my contribution is, what I do well, is I name experiences that are very universal that no one really talks about. That's the researcher in me; that's really part of being a grounded theory researcher - putting names to concepts and experiences that people have. That's the researcher part.

I only share when I have no unmet needs that I'm trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.