The facts of our lives, when we are able to know them, will free us from the torment we are in. When we can bear reality thoroughly, suffering is over. Pain may exist, but it is only pain. Suffering is what we add to pain.

In the Zen Way we focus upon each breath, each day, each moment and experience it totally. One complete breath brings the next.

The best defense against being hurt is to feel good about yourself and the way a person responds to you says more about them, than about you.

What we pay attention to expands. What we pay attention to we become.

Now today, moment by moment, realize that each person and event that happens is life for you. Life is not somewhere else. See how fully you can accept the life that presents itself to you now.

Zen practice asks you not to worry about who you 'should' become. Find out who you are right now.

It is a mistake to expect all of our needs to be met by one person or in one relationship. Honor and be grateful for that which you receive. Don't become bitter and spend all your time focusing on that which the person is not able to provide.