Brenda Shoshanna Quotes

Relying on another is an expression of attachment, not love, a manifestation of insecurity and suffering, not understanding the true nature of our lives.

Whatever we can't love or accept in another, is a mirror of something we can't love or accept in ourselves.

When we sit, we open our own treasure house. Rather than do this, however, most of us first seek to find the treasures another person can provide. We calculate their value to us. When we approach relationships in this manner, we are coming as beggars, seeing the other as a source of supply. When we can enter a relationship with our treasure house already open, there is no end to the wonders we can find, both within and between ourselves and another.

We are what we think about. When we stay fixed on one person, thought or situation, we get caught in the grip of self-centered thoughts. The more we give attention to that which is upsetting, the more strength it has to rule our lives.

In the Zen Way we focus upon each breath, each day, each moment and experience it totally. One complete breath brings the next.

Zen practice asks you not to worry about who you 'should' become. Find out who you are right now.

All experiences are welcomed and fully digested, not judged good or bad.

The best defense against being hurt is to feel good about yourself and the way a person responds to you says more about them, than about you.

When we are in a truly loving relationship, we receive the gift of being known and accepted. We become more, not less, of who we are. We receive the space in which to bloom. This is how we know we are in a loving relationship. We are blooming, and the one we love is blooming as well.

All the insight we will ever need to live well will come from fully being who and where we are.

The sense that my world is stable and stationary, that change will never come and that all will go on continuously as it is, is the nature of all delusion.

When we do not reject our suffering, or add anything to it, pain is simply pain. It is what we add to our pain that turns it into suffering.

Now today, moment by moment, realize that each person and event that happens is life for you. Life is not somewhere else. See how fully you can accept the life that presents itself to you now.

we learn the process of emptying out, cleaning house, both within and without.

Fear of the future and longing for the past are major factors which impede appropriate action.

God's guiding hand, the guiding Voice, resting lightly upon us is best felt and heard when we are silent and still.

Another simple and powerful way to dissolve problems is not to dwell upon the outcome of your actions. Instead, learn to value each action (no matter how small or large), to do it with complete attention. Your joy and satisfaction comes from doing each action with a whole heart and mind. Results and consequences then take care of themselves. When you are not absorbed by concern for outcomes, how much anxiety can you ever have?

What seems good turns bad, what seems bad turns good. It is an endless cycle.

From the Zen view all beings are in the grip of the three poisons, greed, anger and delusion (ignorance).

What we pay attention to expands. What we pay attention to we become.

We create a mask to meet the masks of others. Then we wonder why we cannot love, and why we feel so alone.

Do not make this practice a source of pressure, compulsion, anxiety or pride. It is none of these. Zazen is simply a way to find your true home.

In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.

We turn pain into suffering by adding on all kinds of beliefs, interpretations and judgments to it.

This is how we know we are in a loving relationship. We are blooming, and the one we love is blooming as well.

Change is the very basis of our life, not to be fought, to be welcomed and tasted, to be seen for the gift it truly is.

It is a mistake to expect all of our needs to be met by one person or in one relationship. Honor and be grateful for that which you receive. Don't become bitter and spend all your time focusing on that which the person is not able to provide.

If one's sense of self is obtained through the eyes of another it is always subject to being lost.

Unless we base our sense of identity upon the truth of who we are, it is impossible to attain true happiness.

A time of uncertainty, of not knowing exactly where we're headed, or what kind of choice to make is a Zen moment.

The facts of our lives, when we are able to know them, will free us from the torment we are in. When we can bear reality thoroughly, suffering is over. Pain may exist, but it is only pain. Suffering is what we add to pain.

Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers. Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you'll be amazed at what claims your attention, what you give your precious life force to.

When we are able to receive life's challenges as koans rather than problems, they become interesting and exciting, rather than ponderous and depressing.

All conflict we experience in the world, is a conflict within our own selves.

When we are willing to accept our experience, just as it is, a strange thing happens: it changes into something else. When we avoid pain, struggle not to feel it, pain turns into suffering.

Who you are is always enough. If your partner wants something different, it does not reflect upon you, but upon their needs and fantasies.