Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can't do it themselves!

When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Every cripple has his own way of walking.

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.