Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when they go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life.
We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass.
Acne is a bigger problem than injuries.
We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day - and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of every film we saw.
Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.
I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud.