Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.

We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day - and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of every film we saw.

We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass.

Saturday comes again, welcome or not, it comes again like it always does, welcome or not, wanted or not, another judgment day - The chance to be saved, the chance to be damned.

You don't want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday.

When you get to a certain age, there is no coming back.

I'm dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done.