Beckham? His wife can't sing and his barber can't cut hair.
They say Rome wasn't built in a day, but I wasn't on that particular job.
Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.
Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when they go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life.
We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day - and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of every film we saw.
That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that.