When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.

There’s no such thing as free kittens.

You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).

Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.