I like all things grammatical, and I had already written several books about parts of speech, and even the alphabet, so everything that makes up a sentence and even a word was covered except for punctuation.

There’s no such thing as free kittens.

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

If I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I've been issued.