When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

I love the semicolon; it's unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.

You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).

I like all things grammatical, and I had already written several books about parts of speech, and even the alphabet, so everything that makes up a sentence and even a word was covered except for punctuation.