Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.

Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.