There’s no such thing as free kittens.

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

There’s no such thing as free kittens.

Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.

If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.