I'm always excited about my upcoming shows. I love what I do; I feel very lucky to be able to do what I do, and I never get tired of it. Every time I'm backstage before a show and I feel the murmur of the crowd, it's just incredibly exciting. And I consider myself very fortunate to be able to do this for a job. It's a great life.

I'm actually kinda quiet off stage, a lotta people don't realize that. I was at a dinner party recently, a bunch of people that I don't know, one guy talking plenty for everybody. "Me myself right and then I and then myself and mee, me, I couldn't tell this one about I cause I was talking about myself and Me- Meee- Mee- Me- Me!" Beware the Me monster.

If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it. ... The connection is obvious. You get off, "Man, that was just like the movie! Only the movie had a storyline and characters, and that was a little more like a roller coaster."

I like the honesty of standup comedy. People don't fake laugh. If they're truly laughing at you, you know they like you.

The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow. Where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a living?" "Well, I don't grow corn. Get up at the crack of noon, make sure there's no corn growing. I'm gonna get up early tomorrow. And not plow. You know, we used to not grow tomatoes-but there's more money in not growing corn."

How come they don't think you can handle a new story out of the blue on the TV news? They gotta make a little lame segue. "Hey, that's a big lotto jackpot! Speaking of lotto, there was a lot o' crime in the city today."

Don't let dialog about your company happen without your perspective.