I hate Mondays - I hate that feeling you've got to get yourself up.

Ambition can take the place of everything - even sex.

In my mind, everything is too sanitised on television - what is wrong with things going wrong?

When I was in the business as a young performer, it was a recognised fact that when you got to 60 you were out, because there'd be a new crop of comics coming up all the time, every 10 years or so.

Goodness, that Simon Cowell is a sensitive soul.

I met my darling wife Wilnelia in 1980 when we were on the judging panel for the Miss World contest at the Royal Albert Hall. With two ex-wives and five daughters, I thought I wouldn't be involved with anyone for a long time - if ever. Winnie was so gorgeous, my jaw dropped - and it's a big jaw to drop.

Did you write the words, or the lyrics?