Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon.

Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.

I.. Uh...What are you having?... Did you make some of those up

Kim: "What, a coffee? Hollie, I have some bad news. I hate you, okay?" Hollie: "You hate everyone, Kim." Kim: "You're one of everyone.

Kim: Hey... There's a guy over there with a samurai sword. Scott: Really? Like a katana or a wakizashi or both?

Okay, this might sound vague, but do you know this one girl with hair like this?

Somehow the pantsless gay man is not bringing the romance, Scott.