The menu of my mother consisted of only two choices: Leave it or take it
Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, you would never see a bad show.
A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.
Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.
Why should I be angry at someone when they are out dancing?
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.