Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guys's out there dancing.
I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Why should I be angry at someone when they are out dancing?
When I do an hour-and-a-half show, if I don't improvise 20 minutes worth of new material each night, I feel I've let myself down.
Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, you would never see a bad show.