My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"
What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics.
When I do an hour-and-a-half show, if I don't improvise 20 minutes worth of new material each night, I feel I've let myself down.
A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.
Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.
I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.