I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn't, I hit them.

Why should I be angry at someone when they are out dancing?

What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics.

I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn't, I hit them.

There have always been mixed emotions about Howard Cosell: Some people hate him like poison; and other people just hate him regular.

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.

When I do an hour-and-a-half show, if I don't improvise 20 minutes worth of new material each night, I feel I've let myself down.