An expert is an ordinary fella away from home.

When it's first and a mile, I won't give it to him.

I thought I did until I looked at some old game films. (When asked if he played college football)

Yeah, that test says he's dumb as a fence post, but when he hits he looks like Einstein to me.

You don't know a ladder has splinters until you slide down it.

Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus? Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe. He can take his'n and beat your'n, then he can take your'n and beat his'n.

Respect all. Fear none.