I thought I did until I looked at some old game films. (When asked if he played college football)

Two kinds of ballplayers aren't worth a darn: One that never does what he's told, and one who does nothin' except what he's told.

I know why we lost the Civil War. We must have had the same officials.

The harder we played, the behinder we got.

Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.

Yep. And I noticed how slowly he went down each time, too. (When asked if he noticed how slowly Earl Campbell got up after each play.)

I done drew the line. Just like the Alamo. You're either on one side of the line or the other. I don't want to ever leave Texas again.