You don't know a ladder has splinters until you slide down it.

When it's first and a mile, I won't give it to him.

Two kinds of ballplayers aren't worth a darn: One that never does what he's told, and one who does nothin' except what he's told.

He may not be in a class all by himself, but it don't take long to call the roll.

Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus? Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe. He can take his'n and beat your'n, then he can take your'n and beat his'n.

I thought I did until I looked at some old game films. (When asked if he played college football)

Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half.