Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus? Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe. He can take his'n and beat your'n, then he can take your'n and beat his'n.

The trouble with most coaches is that they start with the assumption that everybody is a turd. And that ain't right.

I thought I did until I looked at some old game films. (When asked if he played college football)

Yep. And I noticed how slowly he went down each time, too. (When asked if he noticed how slowly Earl Campbell got up after each play.)

He may not be in a class all by himself, but it don't take long to call the roll.

There's two kinds of coaches, them that's fired and them that's gonna be fired.

Nothing. And, I don't start before noon.