Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.

The talk shows are stuffed full of sufferers who have regained their health--congressmen who suffered through a serious spell of boozing and skirt-chasing, White House aides who were stricken cruelly with overweening ambition, movie stars and baseball players who came down with acute cases of wanting to trash hotel rooms while under the influence of recreational drugs. Most of them have found God, or at least a publisher.

The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.

It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.

I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.