I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Marriage is part of a sort of 50′s revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.

Everybody is who he was in high school.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.

If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?