The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.