Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I don't think I've ever read a food piece or a food book.

One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.