God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

I'm the only person on Earth who's not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said it, I said it! You were all thinking it, I said it!

Growing up, I didn't know anything about comedy and didn't know anything about comedians or what standup was. I grew up in the projects with no dream of anything, it was in my formatting when i got older and started talking to my friends about how I felt, they would be like, "dude, that's funny." Then one day my friend was like, "Dude, you don't understand how funny you are, you need to do standup"!

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!

The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

Do not encourage my behaviour.

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.