And for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don't park in a handicapped spot.

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.

I was born in Honduras, that's where I was born. I live in California, where no matter what you say, you're Mexican. You understand that? It doesn't matter what you say. See - you don't understand that, white people, because wherever you go, you're white. You're here, you're white. You go to L. A., you're white. You go to Denver, you're white. You go to Miami, you're still white. In L. A. I'm a Mexican, In Florida, I'm a Cuban. In New York, I'm a Puerto Rican. And when I come to Canada and I find out I'm an Eskimo.

When I was young and didn't have money, I liked gambling because winning and losing was fun for the rush of it. The amount of money that I would have to put down now to get that rush, there is no f'ing way I'm going to do it. It's just stupid. I would rather get that rush some other way.