Do not encourage my behaviour.

If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.

When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.

We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.

The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

And for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don't park in a handicapped spot.