I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.

When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!

I don't need anybody, I'm successful in life enough to buy myself a f'ing sandwich.

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

Do not encourage my behaviour.

When I was young and didn't have money, I liked gambling because winning and losing was fun for the rush of it. The amount of money that I would have to put down now to get that rush, there is no f'ing way I'm going to do it. It's just stupid. I would rather get that rush some other way.