I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

I don't need anybody, I'm successful in life enough to buy myself a f'ing sandwich.

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!