Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk? Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

We don't stop going to school when we graduate.

I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis.

I'm really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.