Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it's the disease that's hating you, not them.

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.

Comedy = tragedy + time.