I'm sorry I didn't have this revelation earlier. I sleep better and more soundly because I'm not participating anymore.

You can never go wrong betting on Americans' bad eating habits. So I've made a ton investing in all fast food chains, while at the same time investing in Dockers, spandex, Spanx, and sweatpants. Basically, anything with an elastic waistband is a goldmine.

I'm not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a 'yes.' So it's worthwhile to have the cojones to do it.

I'm sorry I didn't have this revelation earlier. I sleep better and more soundly because I'm not participating anymore.

Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I'd have to do it soon 'cause it's getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gynecologist said, if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it - the latest - by the ended of this show.

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it!

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.